Abstract: | Objective: This study investigated how severely depressed individuals experienced the relationship between psychotic symptoms and suicidal ideation and behavior. Method: Semi-structured qualitative interviews were conducted with a purposive sample of nine inpatients from a psychiatric university hospital between September 2012 and May 2013 fulfilling diagnostic criteria for a psychotic depressive episode as part of a unipolar or bipolar disorder. Analysis was conducted using systematic text condensation. Results: Participants experienced (1) being directed to perform impulsive potentially fatal actions, (2) feeling hounded to death, (3) becoming trapped in an inescapable darkness, and (4) being left bereft of mental control. They described how impulsivity directed by delusions and hallucinations resulted in unpredictable actions with only moments from decision to conduct. Suicide was seen as an escape not only from life problems but also from psychotic experiences and intense anxiety. Participants reported being in a chaotic state, unable to think rationally or anticipate the consequences of their actions. Their ability to identify and communicate psychotic symptoms and suicidal ideation and behavior was compromised, leaving them to struggle alone with these terrifying experiences. Conclusions: Suicide risk assessments based on verbal reports from individuals with psychotic depression may not always be valid due to potential impulsivity and underreporting of suicidal ideation. It may be important for clinicians to explore the delusional content of such patients’ experiences to assess the possibility of suicide as a result of shame, guilt, remorse, or altruistic intentions to save others from harm. |